Are you tired because of how the baby is sleeping?

"This is a blog I have been on the fence about writing because I know that if I had read this blog when my son was younger I would have wanted to punch the writer in the face, but after working with many families implementing this strategy and also using it second time around in real life with baby number 2, I can honestly say it is worth this concept and strategies are worth their weight in gold to understand and implement."

My role as a holistic sleep coach is to help families feel more rested, but that doesn't always mean making the baby sleep better....Stay with me. Parents primarily come to me with concerns about how their baby is sleeping, there is this common thread deep-rooted in our society that suggests that if the baby is sleeping better, the parents will feel more rested, and let's be honest, this is true, but what is also true is that people without babies can feel tired too, and sometimes "getting more sleep" doesn't necessarily "fix" the problem of tiredness, because it is multifaceted and lots of things can attribute to the feeling of being tired. Sometimes it is how the baby is sleeping AND other factors causing tiredness. When we have BOTH angles perpetuating tiredness it can be hard to get on top of feeling tired unless we attack it from ALL the angles we can. I write this with love, and don't mean to invalidate anyone feeling tired, heck I had a rough night with a sick baby last night and I am tired today BUT because of the strategies I discuss below, the day to day of living has actually been manageable after a rough night. Obviously, if you have back to back to back rough nights, then it might be less manageable, read this with nuance in mind.

Tiredness vs sleepiness:

Tiredness is typically a feeling of lethargy (low energy), low motivation, weariness and general overall fatigue.

Sleepiness is when sleep is needed, sleep pressure is high, eyelids might be fluttering, you might be yawning and sleep is coming.

A driver who falls asleep at the wheel was tired, but they experienced sleepiness taking over. Tiredness doesn't always lead to sleepiness, stay with me here.

Causes of tiredness, include but are not limited to, stress (emotional, financial, physical, mental load, the stress of the matrescence journey and discovering who you are now as a parent and having your world tip on it's axis as priorities shift and change), sensory overload/stimulation levels throughout the day and night, dehydration, malnourishment, hunger, overwhelm, burnout, health conditions, nutrient deficiency, worry, anxiety, depression, medication, the list goes on.

The causes for sleepiness are biologically driven, sleep pressure and circadian rhythm. This means that while you might feel tired at 9am, this doesn't mean you have enough biological sleep pressure to actually cause sleepiness to get to sleep (unless you are really in the thick of postpartum sleep deprivation and if this is you, I just want to say, I see you and it is SO HARD, I have been there). This is relevant, because it means that for most people, they can't "get more sleep" to fix the problem in that moment, but there are things we can do in life to decrease overall tiredness that have nothing to do with sleep.

These differences might seem like semantics, but my point is this, as a parent there are SO MANY THINGS that can pile up to accumulate into tiredness. Yes, we ideally need to get your baby's sleep as good as we can (given what is appropriate for their age and stage), but we shouldn't JUST be looking at the baby's sleep alone.

We should be looking at tiredness with a holistic lens.

Baby sleep alone is not entirely responsible for every parents tiredness.

Tiredness needs to be addressed from all angles.

If you are feeling tired, tuning into what your mind, body and soul need is key, some days that might be a stroll in fresh air, some days it might be as simple as 4 deep breaths (or physiological sighs). Often I hear, "I can't decrease my stress", and I understand that feeling of not having time, but there are so many options you can implement to help with that tiredness load. Here are a few options, remember, there are a thousand more options:

• 4 yoga poses held for 30 seconds each (that is 2 minutes), or a full class if you can make it work

• Sitting down for a cup tea or a glass of water

• Simply drinking a glass of water

• Doing a brain dump of bullet points of things that are in your head on your "to do list" and reprioritizing what needs to be done and crossing off what isn't needed right now.

• Cutting down your screen time

• Reading a page of a book

• Slowing down

• Passing mental load of some household tasks to someone else

• Outsourcing dinner (fish and chips) one night

• Eating wholesome food that is easy and doesn't stress you more to put together (hello meal planning and freezing meals like lunches for you to grab out and heat up)

• Going for a 10minute walk

• Booking a GP appointment to get your bloods checked for things like thyroid function, iron and B12 levels

• Sensory decompression points throughout your day

I need you to know that no one is perfect, even knowing what I know about sleep I am constantly working to ensure I keep myself in check with tiredness preventing strategies in my day, and I can honestly say it makes a WORLD of difference after having a rough more wakeful night due to teething, or sickness etc.

Which of these strategies will you implement?